Sorry I've been out of pocket for a few days. Made a little road trip, halfway to Michigan and back. This in relation to Mom's funeral, although we didn't actually go to the funeral. Well, for one thing, they were having a blizzard up there, which started the day before the funeral. (I just can't help thinking that somehow Mom had something to do with that...) We had planned a really nice funeral for Mom, but we didn't get to do it. Her husband had an entirely different kind of funeral in mind -- with an open casket and 'viewing', which we knew specifically that our mother did not want. And right now the plans for her burial are in question, too. Seems her husband doesn't really want her to be buried with our dad (even though he plans to be buried with his deceased previous wife). Mom is to be cremated, as far as we know. But what Carl will do with the ashes... is anybody's guess. Mom and Carl were married 10 years, both of them were nearly 80 years old when they married. But if you went to the funeral you would not have had a clue that 57 years of her life were spent married to my dad. He was not mentioned in the eulogy, nor was there a single picture of him in the funeral parlor.
Well, I said all that to say this:
It's one of my (many) pet peeves that people tend to over-memorialize and even idolize a person when they die. But right now maybe I understand it a little better than I did before. So if you will indulge me, I'm going to make today's post a bit of a tribute to my mother, Wathada Jewell Burford Thomas.
I have the baby picture of Wathada, right side, third from the top. It came to me from my grandmother Burford. There was always a curiosity about that cute baby in my grandmother’s picture box named Wathada as noted on the back of the picture.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother’s picture box came to me on her passing. It started my love of genealogy. Thankfully Grandmother had noted all the names on the backs of the photos.
Years later Wathada and I discovered each other and worked on the Burford genealogy together with the help of our computers.
She shared all of her information, sources, documents and stories with me. I’m so glad to have known Wathada, the cute baby in Grandmother’s picture box.
Myra
Well that certainly started the tears as I scanned through pictures of the fisty, strong spirited sister-in-law I knew for over 56 years. A pianist, artist, singer, amazing cook, and the most generous person I have ever known.
ReplyDeleteBecky Burford
DeleteWathada and Red were our closest friends the entire time we were raising our kids. Even after we all retired we were close friends. We miss that friendship very much.
ReplyDeleteCharles (Buck) and Judy Jones
Sarasota, Florida
I am so sorry that you’re having to deal with all of this on top of losing your mom. It breaks my heart that Carl did not honor her wishes. I will say that when I got up to speak at her funeral. I spoke for about 10 minutes. And everything that came out of my mouth was about “Aunt Wathada and Uncle Red.” I talked about how they were always there for us. And mentioned his name numerous times. And I was looking Carl right in the eyes when I did it. I don’t care if it made him mad. Somebody needed to address the elephant in the room and I was happy to do it. If it makes you feel any better, not only did they eliminate Uncle Red from the Eulogy, but they also read the obituary and apparently Uncle Bob is deceased along with her other two brothers. 🙄 Good grief! Anyways. These pictures are absolutely precious. And all that matters now is she is up in Heaven, singing, hymns, and bossing everybody around! 😂 Xoxo
ReplyDeleteKaren (Burford) Griffin
I am so glad you put this on there.That was not the funeral that mom wanted.That was nothing more than the Carl show and it's all I could do to just stay there to get through it without saying something. But all that matters now is mom is with dad.
ReplyDelete